Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
by D-chi
Summary: This piece is a former songfic dedicated to Celena and Jajuka's relationship. From Celena's POV.


Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or anything like that. I'd like to, but I don't. And neither do you, so THERE! The Phantom of the Opera is owned by Andrew Lloyd Weber and other people who are not me.

A/N: I got this idea awhile ago when I was listening to my Phantom of the Opera CD. It reminded me very much of Celena/Dilandau and Jajuka's relationship. JAJUKA ROCKS! Anyway, this story takes place about two years after the end of the series. Celena is back to normal, and she's trying to piece together her memories of what happened to her when she was captured by Zaibach, especially what happened involving her caretaker and friend during the loneliest time in her life. But now, they don't allow songfics anymore, so I had to cut the song out. Even so, I still think the title fits the story, so I hope you like it!

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"Celena!" I could hear my name being called in the distance. "Celena, wake up!" the voice called again. My mind fabricated into my subconscious the image of a spring-like, flowery field. I could make out a figure in the distance, a strange yet familiar creature covered in honey-brown fur from head to toe; my friend, my guardian, my Jajuka.

I could still recall the day we met. Having been locked in a dungeon with no means of escape, I was terrified and had been crying incessantly. The sight of a six-foot dog-like creature in a slave's attire didn't help the matter. Even so, he still tried to take care of me in his own way, being my only caregiver. He insisted that I eat something to keep me from dying of starvation, lest he suffer the consequences of allowing me to whither away before any experimentation could be performed on me. The tray of prisoner's food he held out to me didn't look appealing, but I ate anyway, even if only to appease him.

Over time, I grew to respect and even care about him, and he returned the affection. He was the only one in my time of confinement from the world who ever cared about me. We became very fond of each other. He was like a father to me, and I like a young daughter to him. We confided in each other and developed a strong bond of trust.

_You were once my one companion_

_You were all that mattered_

_You were once a friend and father_

_Then my world was shattered_

Then, the day came when I was to be taken away to begin the experimental procedures. I was heartbroken, but not more than him. As I was being dragged away, he was being beaten by the guards as he screamed my name, and tried to reach for me. I cried out for him, wanting him to be able to comfort me this one last time, but, of course, he could not. That was the last I saw of him for many years.

"Celena?" the warm voice beckoned yet again, slowly materializing for me into reality. I opened my eyes slowly. Still groggy from sleep, I sat up in bed as I began to recognize my surroundings. "Good morning, Celena. Did you sleep well?" It was my brother, Allen. He, as well as the rest of his motley crew, had taken care of me for the past two years. I had been missing for an entire decade, for two thirds of my life. When I came back, I'd gone on a quest of sorts to find out what I'd been doing for the past ten years. By talking to my brother's friend Folken, who had been there for all of it, I found out that I'd been captured by Zaibach. I had been experimented on and transformed from Celena Schezar to the young boy known as Dilandau Albatou. I learned that he had been both chemically and mentally unstable, and was a hot-tempered, sadistic pyromaniac. He was the leader of an elite group of Zaibach soldiers known as the Dragonslayers. I was intrigued when I found out that Jajuka had come back into my life when I, or should I say Dilandau, was fifteen. I could remember bits and pieces of Jajuka being there when I reverted temporarily back to my normal self. Then, I transformed back into Dilandau for a short time, and then back to myself again. I haven't had any problems since. I can tell that this helped my brother to relax as we got to know each other again. He was cautious at first, in case I was still unstable, but as time went by, he loosened up considerably.

_Wishing you were somehow here again_

_Wishing you were somehow near_

_Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed_

_Somehow you would be here_

As for Jajuka, somehow I knew that he'd always be the one to take care of me. He was my companion during all those painful years, and we loved each other very much. After all, he was the only family I'd known during that time. However, fate cruelly snatched Jajuka from me. In the last war, he was killed in battle by Van while trying to protect me. At the time, I was a dangerously unstable Dilandau in my infamous red Guymelef. It was his death that caused me to cry out for my protector one last time, and this in turn caused me to change slowly, and quite painfully, back into myself again.

I've often reflected upon my years with Jajuka when left alone with my thoughts. He would appear to me in my dreams, in that same bright and flowery field, as gentle-looking as ever. I longed to be able to see him and hold him. In my dreams, I would try to run to him, but I could never reach him. He would stand there somberly, yet ever-smiling, shaking his head sadly. I would cast one last forlorn glance at him, then the dream would end.

_Wishing I could hear your voice again_

_Knowing that I never would_

_Thinking of you won't help me to do_

_All that you dreamed I could_

I sighed to myself, then got out of bed and stood up resolutely. I quickly got dressed, putting on a white shirt with a long yellow skirt and sandals. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair so that it looked decent, then I walked out of my room.

"Good morning, Celena!" said my brother. "Where are you going so early?" he asked me curiously.

"I'm going out for a little while. I'll be back soon, brother," I said. My destination was nearby, so I decided to walk. As I passed through the market place, I noticed in one of the stands a small, round, shiny disk of some sort. I picked it up gingerly. Being so thin, it looked as if it was about to break. Then I noticed the light reflecting off of it. It created a sort of four-way rainbow. It was truly a beautiful and ethereal sight to behold. I momentarily recalled Hitomi, who had decided to visit us occasionally, mentioning seeing an object like this here at the market. The proprietor offered to make a necklace out of it for me, but I politely declined and made my way out of the market place.

_Passing bells and sculpted angels_

_Cold and monumental_

_Seem for you the wrong companions_

_You were warm and gentle_

I walked up to the cemetery gates and pushed them open. They creaked mournfully, as if they harbored within their rusting iron bars all the anguish ever experienced in the world. Passing gloomy-looking grave stones shaped like angels and other various sculptures, I walked up to where the soldiers in the war were named and honored for their acts of valor. Quietly, I located where Jajuka's headstone was. I kneeled down in the fresh, green grass solemnly.

_Too many years fighting back tears_

_Why can't the past just die?_

I gently reached a hand out to touch the gravestone. Tears stung at my eyes, but I held them back with all my willpower. I wanted so much for my dearest friend to be here with me. I almost wished that none of it had never happened, but that would have meant no Jajuka… ever.

_Wishing you were somehow here again_

_Knowing we must say good-bye_

_Try to forgive, teach me to live_

_Give me the strength to try_

No, I was glad that I'd met Jajuka and befriended him, regardless of the circumstances. That much I did not regret. I knew that I finally had to lay this sadness of mine to rest. He wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life mourning his memory. Rather, he would want me to embrace it, recalling all the good times we shared, not the bad.

_Help me say good-bye_

_Help me say good-bye_

I wiped my eyes and sighed deeply. Yes, Jajuka had suffered a tragic fate, but he had been a wonderful friend of mine. I would always love him and cherish our time together. I decided to stop crying over him and move on with my life. No more would I regret all the wasted years spent as Dilandau, without Jajuka. It was he who had helped me return to normal, and who had taken care of me even in Dilandau's insanity. Standing up slowly, I walked out of the cemetery, humming a soft tune to myself. I turned one last time to my beloved friend's resting place.

"Jajuka… Thank you."

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A/N: So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Review and let me know! Thanks for reading! 


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